Every now and again something comes along that changes your entire outlook on something you’ve done a million times before.
For me, one of those things came earlier this year when I listened to a podcast interview with burlesque performer, witch and all around glamorously magical lady Veronica Varlow. Veronica spoke of her Circle of Seven; seven women who inspire her so much that she’s put their photos on her vision board in a circle around her own – reminding herself every
Do me a favour, close your eyes and tell me what your life looks like when you have it all? I’m no mind reader but I’m guessing it will involve you having the perfect happy ever after relationship, a beautiful healthy family, a picture-perfect house, a successful career, loads of money and tones of awesome holidays as a starter, right? And let me tell you right now that I am not here to put down any of those things, or tell you that you shouldn’t have them. But that’s a post
Over the last few weeks I’ve been sharing with you some thoughts on each “part” of the work that I do. And since we’ve talked about the importance of making peace with your past, I figured it was time to talk about why and how I reckon we’re all responsible for creating our own happy ever afters. So often I hear people – especially women – say that they “need” someone else in order to be happy and to do all the things they long for. OK first up, no. It is absolutely amazing t
Eleanor Roosevelt seems to have become my source of wisdom recently. It’s unintentional but her words just keep popping up and are so damned poignant. Like this quote for example. On my desk is a wisdom 365 calendar and today’s page contained these wonderful words. Thought provoking at the best of times, but given that yesterday was a day spent mourning the tragic and violent killing of over 20 people, and injury of many more in the Manchester bombing, it seemed especially po
Last week I spoke to a friend who’d just completed a mindfulness course. As you’d expect, her course was all about learning to be in the present and within it the instructors talked about how little benefit there was to be gained from looking into the past (or at the future, but that’s a story for another day). Now I’m a big fan of mindfulness and everything it stands for, and so I get where they’re coming from. But I also totally and utterly disagree. I’m a trained counsello
Earlier this week I found myself on my own in London. I live in the North of England, around four hours by train from the capital, so although I travel there fairly regularly, it’s a while since I’ve visited on my own. I was staying in Islington, and had made plans to meet a friend for dinner a few stops along the Northern Line, but part way through the tube journey I decided I fancied a walk, so jumped off at Camden. It was about 6pm so still light, and about 45 minutes away
A few days ago I received a message that really pissed me off. It came from a friend of a friend who I’ve met maybe three times, and who has asked me out twice in the time since we last met. This latest message followed my changing my profile picture on facebook and said, very simply “Looking gorgeous I see ;-) xx”. Why did it piss me off? To be honest I could probably write at least two blog posts on that subject alone, but the basic gist was it felt a little like being catc
A good few years ago an ex bought me a journal with this photo on; I know, beautiful!And inside was the following quote: “The soul would have no rainbow if the eyes had no tears.” At the time I thought it was gorgeous, and poignant given that I cried a LOT back then… but it’s only in the years since that I’ve really come to understand that quote and love it even more. The hard times we go through are shit. There’s no doubt about that and I’m not going to try to pretend otherw
Making big, tough decisions is part of being a grown up, something we absolutely have to do at times. Does that mean we have to like it? Gods no. A while back now I had to make the most difficult decision of my life so far, and after lots of soul searching made the decision that I know was right for that particular situation. Initially I tried to just crack on with things; I’d made the decision after all so what else is there to do but plaster on a smile and get on with life?
I read something recently about the culture of telling people they should be happy; how it’s unrealistic and also disrespectful to the other emotions they want to feel. “I want to be sad dammit!” the author said, almost as though she was rebelling against this drive towards happiness and instead clawing at the other emotions that had somehow been deemed less acceptable by this happy-driven society. You know, I totally get that… sometimes I want to be sad too, and sometimes I