Whenever I start working with a new client on their connection with soul, they inevitably
How will I know what to follow?
How will I know what's true?
I understand that very, very deeply, and for many years, it was something I
Even today, with all my experience in working with the Unseen, if you ask me to trust my own connection for me, it becomes much harder.
Because often, the voices of my fear drown out what my Soul has to say.
Or worse, I hear what I want to hear; I fall into confirmation bias.
And in aworld that coaches us to rely on physical, tangible evidence, it can be hard to
trust ourselves – to step back and think differently.
However, over the last five months, I've been on a crash course of learning to trust
myself and my connection.
The descent into grief
Back in October, I very suddenly and devastatingly lost Kali, my German Shepherd.
She was mybest friend, my familiar, my baby, my soul sister, my roommate, my dog…
Her passing came completely out of the blue and I plunged into grief, taking me on a deep journey with the underworld, death, and what comes after.
Deeper perhaps than I had thought possible, especially for someone who has been working with death and grief for most of her adult life.
I've learnt so much.
That shouldn’tbe a surprise though. Kali was my biggest teacher in life, and that hasn't
stopped since she passed away; she's still giving me lessons and one of the biggest, it turns out, isabout trusting myself and building a deeper trust with my connection.
Let’s rewind a bit…
On the day Kali passed away, she was rushed into emergency surgery.
As I sat waiting at home, I decided to meditate – to connect with her and help her in any way I could.
When I did, I saw her with me and we spoke together. Then all of a sudden, she stopped and turned to me.
She looked at me and said:
“Mam, I have to go now. But I'll be back soon, don't worry.”
And right in front of my eyes, she turned into a puppy and said one word: “Lagertha”.
Then she walked away.
Soon after, the phone rang… It was the vet, telling me he was so sorry, but things
were much worse than we had thought and they couldn’t save Kali
I was devastated.
But in every moment of what followed, I kept going back to that meditation, when everything felt at peace and calm and I knew, as I had always known, that she was safe.
The journey back to trust
In the months since, Kali has continued to be in touch. Just as in life, she hasn’t stayed
quiet for long.
I've heard her walking around the house.
I’ve seen her at home, out on walks, and more.
She’s joined me in meditation and she’s visited me in dreams.
And some of those experiences brought with them some big signs.
Like the dream I had of her with a white German Shepherd.
The way that every time I spoke of her on a walk I seemed to see a Husky.
The time I meditated and heard Kali tell me to look out for a dog with the “god” parents (all will become clear later).
Then a few weeks ago, I had a dream where I saw German Shepherd puppies – one was pink, another orange, and a third silver.
The second I woke up I knew I needed to act on it; a knowing so strong that I didn’t question it.
And so I headed online to look at some ads, and lo and behold the first I saw featured
some German Shepherd puppies wearing coloured collars: pink, orange and silver.
Their mum was a white German Shepherd.
Their dad was part Husky.
I went to see the pups, and their parents’ names were Hades and Persephone – god and goddess.
Quite quickly, the puppy that’s now mine made herself known to me and I knew this
wasn’t a time for second guessing.
It was time to trust all of the signs, all of the knowings, and to trust myself.
Because when something feels so true, we can't ignore it.
But we haveto learn how and when to tune in.
We have to learn that when the real signs come, it's often those moments when everything gets quiet – all we have is the truth, the sign, the wisdom…
Sometimes the choices we make aren’t the sensible or easy ones.
After all, the big things in life are scary.
But when we allow everything else to fade away until all we have is truth and the
connection that brings us truth, that's when we know we can trust.
Introducing Lagertha Rowntree
And so, I’ve welcomed a puppy called Lagertha into my house.
Who knows if she’s Kali or another soul.
What I do know is there was a beautiful myriad of magical signs that led me to her – a host of guidance and wisdom from Kali, the Universe and my own Soul.
I know that this little Soul has brought me back to life with joy, laughter and so many
puppy kisses, and that my heart is filled with excitement about the adventures
that lie ahead for us.
And that, as a resultof my journey, I trust that knowing. Just as I trust myself, the signs, and my connection.
If you’dlike to reach that place too then please stay in touch, finding ways to
support you in reaching that place too is one of the things I’m most passionate
about, so I would love to support you on your own journey to connection.