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The three step guide to getting through an empowerment wobble

February 20, 2018

 

If you’re a regular reader of this blog you’ll know that my work is ALL about supporting you to become empowered and be the hero of your own life.

 

But doing that isn’t just a one stop job… it’s work that takes time and energy, and sometimes involves falling off the wagon and feeling as though you’re right back to where you started.

 

That’s only natural in everything you do, especially when it comes to the work of taking control and putting yourself at the front and centre of your own life. Because in a world that’s told you for years to sit inside the box it’s put you in and put yourself right at the bottom of your list of priorities, it’s not always easy to be in your power 100% of the time.

 

So as you move through your life as an empowered, amazing woman there will still be the days when you find yourself working until late on an extra project you should never have agreed to; working your way through a family-sized tub of Ben and Jerry’s rather than dealing with the way you’re feeling, or waking up next to some idiot that you really weren’t that fussed about dating, never mind going home with.

 

But on those days when you have a wobble and feel like you’re back to square one, what do you do? Well, read on my loves, it's time for a to the point three step guide!

 

1. Go easy on yourself

First up don’t feel bad… remember this journey to empowerment isn’t about starting something from scratch, it’s also about changing the patterns, thoughts and behaviours you’ve repeated for years – sometimes your entire life – along the way too.

 

Those patterns of behaviour are well worn and often take work to change; I’ve told the story before about a wise lady who once talked to me about neural pathways.

 

She explained that every thought we have creates a pathway across our brain as it goes from idea to action; the thoughts and actions we’ve had time and time again carve out much clearer pathways – like great big highways within your brain; while those we’re just trying to establish are less easy to follow – overgrown tracks through the forest. Of course that means that the established paths are easier to follow initially, but that doesn’t mean they’re the right ones.

 

Instead it simply means we need to work a little harder to carve out those new ways of thinking and behaving. And yes, that means that sometimes along the way we might just find ourselves drawn back to the easier to traverse highways and get it wrong… but every time we do that we’ll learn a little more about why it’s so important to take the alternative route instead.

 

2. What’s going on?

So that’s my second tip – take away what went wrong, and work through that to understand why. Think about where the wobble occurred this time and why – not to beat yourself up but to understand.

 

Because once you understand where your biggest challenges on this journey lie, you can work on overcoming and healing those, and help yourself move forward more effectively. For me that usually involves a long walk to think and to contemplate, a conversation with a good friend, and a shitload of journaling about my thoughts, feelings and the questions I have for myself… this work can get deep!

 

3. Give it another go

The third step in this process? Get back up and keep trying. It’s that old cliché that when you first learned to walk you might have fallen over 99 times, but you’re still walking because you got back up 100.

 

And the same goes with everything we learn to do. We will wobble; we will fall; some days we’ll even feel as though we’re right back to the very beginning of our journey. But does that mean we failed? Hell no, it means that we’re learning.

 

This road to empowerment isn’t always an easy one, but it is worthwhile. So keep at it and know that you’re never alone in it; there’s always someone you can call on to help you through the wobbles.

 

And if you’re not sure where else to turn, then get in touch! Click here to find out more about working with me and the services I offer.

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