Ah here we are again; at that point of the calendar where you’ll see a “new year, new me” post or meme every time you head online.
Sigh. Isn’t it time we stop with that now? Isn’t it time we stop with this perpetual quest to change ourselves so that we can fit whatever the world has told us we should be?
Instead, I’d like to give you a whole new suggestion: What if instead of trying to change yourself in 2020, you made a vow to focus more on the self that you already are.
Fact: You are amazing
You know me, one of my favourite things about the world – and the work that I do – is seeing people light up when they talk about or reconnect with the things that make them feel most like them.
In the moments they describe those experiences you can so often see the very essence of that person shinning through, practically illuminating not just their face but absolutely everything about them.
And the most beautiful thing about my work is being able to witness and support my clients’ transformation from people who have either lost touch with those feelings completely, or who’ve only found that place of illumination on very rare occasions, to people who are able to hold on to that essence of themselves every single day, embracing more and more of it all the time no matter what the world decides to throw at them.
New Year? Time to focus on that same old glorious you
So my invitation to you for the year ahead is not to think about a number on the scales, about a new routine you “must” stick or about all the things you “have to” master in order to become the person you want to be, and instead to think about how best to illuminate the person you already are.
I invite you to do what you can to reconnect with that essence of yourself, and then to find ways to bring more and more of that energy into your life
This isn’t about changing yourself, or even about consciously changing your life. But instead it’s about shining a light on the parts of those things that already make you feel bloody wonderful, and then allowing yourself to grow and bask in the glow of that light.
How do you do that?
Now I know, all this might just seem like a big task – especially if you’re reading this and thinking that you already had big plans for what and how you want to change in the twelve months to come.
And of course you always have to do what feels right and true to you. But where that feeling is a drive to change something, I encourage you to question that drive. Why is it that you want to change? And what are you hoping that change will bring to you?
Is this something you genuinely want to do or experience more of – a new adventure you dream of embarking on or a different hobby you’ve always wanted to learn maybe?
If the answer is yes then by all means go for it! Embrace the adventure and jump into the change… but do so with that fun approach that will remind you of that adventure and the dreams you’re trying to fulfill, rather than becoming another stick to beat yourself with if you don’t fulfill your resolution perfectly.
And if the answer is no – if the change you’re striving for is about something someone once told you you should do in order to be more acceptable to the world? Well then maybe try out the different approach to your new year plans that I’m talking about here.
When it comes to doing that, start small. Start by grabbing a pen and a piece of paper and journalling on the following:
What do you most love to do do and where do you most love to be?
What is it about those things that you love?
When you’re in those places and doing those things, how do you feel?
Who are you? Not according to what other people say about you, the jobs that you do or the relationships that you have – simply in terms of you. Who are you?
When do you feel most like that person?
When you visualise yourself being totally and utterly fulfilled, how does that feel?
And in that visualisation, what’s going on? Where are you, what are you doing and who are you with? What are the circumstances that further build on that fulfillment?
You don’t need to share your answers to those questions with anyone; the only person who ever truly needs to know about them is you. And in fact the answers themselves aren’t even the most important thing…
In fact they’re more like signposts, all leading you to the feelings that matter and to what it really means to be the truest and fullest version of your own self. The person that you were put here to be.
If this idea of embracing and enhancing your own essence is something you want to know more about, and the work to connect to that side of yourself is something you want to do more of then watch this space or join my mailing list… In the coming weeks I’ll be sharing details of my first ever Owning Your Story course, containing a whole section on how to escape the limitations of your past and present and create a life that’s more aligned with who you truly are and what really lights you up.
Or if the very idea of this is something that seems completely out of your reach, and the questions above are things you’re really struggling to answer, then get in touch. Soul-Led Therapy can be a great way to work through that outside noise and not only focus on the essence of yourself, but also help to bring you ever more in contact with that part of yourself.