I often think that if I were to have one single sentence that summarised the work that I do it would be this:
“Be your own hero.”
Because that’s the crux of not only my work but my entire theory on life; that when it comes to creating a life full of everything we want, there is only one person responsible for and capable of doing that – guess who.
And that’s why today, particularly given that we’re on Valentine’s Day eve, I wanted to remind you that it’s not a tall, dark and handsome knight in shining armour – or in fact anyone else, who will give you the life that you want… it’s you.
Of course it’s wonderful to have other people in your life too; and it’s always amazing to have a life full of love of all sorts. But the best way to create and bring that love to your life is to turn it inwards first of all.
Because living a life of fulfillment has to start with you, and with believing that you can and should have that life.
The first step to making those changes and starting that journey is looking yourself in the mirror and recognising that the person looking back at you is one you value as highly as you do other people… or at least that you’re ready and willing to work on that.
From there it’s about looking to your past and being willing to let go of the people, experiences ad labels that you’ve carried forward from there. Of course that letting go isn’t always easy, but just setting the intention to heal and to move forwards more freely is a good start.
It’s about being able to sit in your own company without anything to numb or distract you, and not only finding comfort in that, but also dealing with the discomfort that comes up along the way.
And it means not only thinking about what you want from your future – although that’s important – but also doing the work that you need to recognise that you’re worthy and capable of bringing those things to you and then taking the actions you need to make it happen.
And it all starts with you deciding to invest time, energy and occasionally even money in doing all of those things.
Because while they sound super simple and obvious (and they do – I this blog post isn’t telling you anything you don’t already know), the journey of doing all of this isn’t always easy. Often it’s about working to heal decades of painful experiences and patterns of behaviour, and about stepping out from places where you may well be unhappy but you’re also comfortable (and yes, that is totally a thing) – and that takes effort.
I worked with an amazing lady recently who began our work together telling me that she was completely stuck in the life she was in. During our penultimate session she talked about her reasons for deciding to make a big life change and said that during an interaction with someone she’d previously felt stuck with she’d suddenly realised “I respect myself too much to be treated like this by him. I didn’t before, but now I do I can’t stay in that situation.” I wanted to get up and do a little dance.
Another client recently told me in our second session together that she’d decided to request a change in her work; “because actually life is more important isn’t it? I’m more important than to feel like that.” I almost whooped out loud.
Experiences like that are the reasons I love this work so so much. And why I know it’s important – because we’ve lived half lives full of stuckness, frustration and misery for too damned long and it’s time for that to change. But it’s about recognising that we need to be the ones to change for ourselves.
Hell, it’s a lesson I learned the hard way myself, reading all the self help, wellness and empowerment books and expecting them to suddenly make me feel better by the time I got to the final page.
A lot of them were beneficial, a couple were even life changing. But none of the books did the entire job. Why? Because I hadn’t taken control. I didn’t trust myself to do that and didn’t think I was capable of making changes for myself so once again was looking for someone else to make things better for me.
When I started to realise that this journey out of my stuckness and frustration had to start with me, well that’s when I started to make changes and that’s when my life started to feel so much flipping better too.
If you want to know more, and are looking to start that journey of being your own hero then head over to my Facebook page tomorrow. I’ll be hosting a special broadcast aimed entirely at helping you to take back control and become your own best Valentine in the year to come.
It’s totally free to join, and starts at 7.30pm UK time. Can’t wait to see you there!