We hear a lot about holding space, and about the power of a safe and sacred space when it comes to personal transformation.
In fact, the psychologist Carl Rogers believed that, when it comes to transformation and to reconnecting with our truest selves, the most important ingredient was the space that was held for us to do that.
Yet how many of us have ever truly felt such a powerful and beautiful space for ourselves?
After all, for all we hear about space holding, very few of us truly know what it means to hold a safe and sacred space, nor indeed to be held in such a space.
The less than safe spaces
Many of us have experienced those less than safe spaces though, and know those only too well.
My first experience of one came through a therapist I worked with early in my journey. During the early part of our work together we spoke comfortably about the burnout I was experiencing at work, but when the conversation turned to the trauma that underpinned that burnout? The therapist told me that was too much for her to handle and she wouldn’t be able to help.
Then there was the tarot reader friend I worked closely with who, in the midst of her own divorce, told me she had told multiple clients that week that it was time to leave their marriages. When I asked where that had come from she replied, “The break up energy in the room was just so strong,” with no thought or understanding of how that may be influenced by her own experiences.
And finally there was the community group I was a member of, whose regular meetings would see myself and other members of the group coming away drained and disappointed after the community manager started each week by telling us that “she was so grateful for this space to share my challenges”, but was often unable to hold space for ours.
In their own way, each of these experiences was frustrating, disappointing and, worst of all, worrying. Worrying for the wellbeing of those clients whose needs were left unmet by the spaces in which they found themselves, but worrying too for the space holders who were leaving their own needs unmet, their own energies unchecked and their own boundaries unheard.
The problem with that is not only in the damage it does to the spaces we are holding, but also to our own energy and safety.
What does it mean to hold those spaces?
So how does it feel to hold those truly safe and sacred spaces?
While it can feel scary at times, truly holding those spaces feels safe, nourishing and rewarding.
We hold the best space when we are grounded enough into ourselves to know what we are offering and exactly what we are here to do, while also being entirely grounding into and focussed on the people that we are working with.
When we hold a safe and sacred space, we are working with whatever our clients and companions bring to the table. But we are also working outside of those individual issues and challenges, working instead with the person in front of us and the space they need to move in and through.
Not only that but honestly, when we hold the kind of powerfully transformational space that our clients can most benefit from, we so often find the inspiration to powerfully transform within ourselves too.
Inspired by our clients, held by the space we create, and rooted into our own selves, we often cannot help but be transformed…
To hold a truly safe and sacred space is one of the greatest honours of all the work I do as a medium, a therapist and a primal guide and it’s for that reason as much as any other that I am determined to share these insights with other teachers, healers, guides and more.
But of course, integrating the skills and foundations of this work isn’t just beneficial to the space holders themselves. The people who benefit most of all from a truly safe and sacred space are those who are able to utilise that space for their own transformation.
The power of being held in such a space
Because of course, the most obvious and arguably important power in space holding comes for those who are being held.
I truly believe that the holding of a safe and sacred space held for us is one of the most powerful gifts we can receive in a world that is so often busy and distracted. And for all of the experience and expertise that a healer, teacher or guide can bring into that space, we cannot forget that the space itself is often the biggest part of that gift.
Knowing that we are truly heard allows us to express the deepest facets of ourselves and our emotions, and to courageously venture into each of those facets in turn knowing that someone has our back with whatever we find there.
Knowing that we are securely held allows us to tentatively explore and test the waters of new ideas, possibilities and personas before we make any big and risky decisions for ourselves.
Knowing that we are accepted gives us the room to change and become all that we can possibly be; expanding into the fullness of ourselves without worrying about being “too much”, offending someone or being cast aside as a result.
And knowing that we are supported wherever that journey takes us? It keeps us inspired and invigorated through the challenging times, and gives us the permission to celebrate our successes from a place of our own truest and most beautiful expansion.
The holding of a sacred space allows us to transform; not only into the new and the unexpected but also into the fullness of all that we are and were always meant to be – individually and collectively.
Why collectively? Because as our world moves ever closer into a new age of truly heart and soul-centered living, it is the holding of safe and sacred space that will support and enable that change. And isn’t that something to be part of?
How do I become a truly transformational space holder?
This February sees the launch of my course, Hold and Be Held.
Over seven weeks we will work together to not only deepen our understanding and awareness of the vital ingredients of space holding, but to also integrate those into our own lives and practice.
Throughout the journey we’ll hold space for one another as we come to understand what truly powerful space holding looks and feels like for us as healers, teachers, guides and more; before embracing our own unique power as space holders in all that we do.
Hold and Be Held begins on 17th February, but book your place by 4th February to save 20% on the price of the course, with payment plans available for anyone feeling the January pinch.
Want to know more? Simply click here to learn about the course and book your place.