Becoming an expert in you

A square image, half is a slum woman sitting cross legged on a bad in shadow and in front of a window. The image is by Ben Blennerhassett on Unsplash. The other half is bright pink, with white text reading "Becoming an expert in you" above the Ceryn Rowntree logo and website address.

I get so bored of reading and hearing about all of the many things we have to learn, go through and qualify in if we want to be happy and fulfilled.

Because this journey towards fulfillment is something I’ve been helping people with – not to mention working on for myself – for quite some time now and what I’ve learned is that almost all of the people who say that are missing the point.

Actually, there’s only one thing you really need to be an expert in if you want to find fulfillment…


That’s right, you can read all the books, take all the courses and work with all of the teachers you want to. But the very best of all of those things will only ever take you back yourself to get to know and understand you ever more deeply.

It’s why I hate the idea of referring to myself as a “healer” and would laugh out loud if you tried to refer to me as some all knowing guru.

First up, the only person who can ever truly heal you is you; and second up the person with all of the wisdom, knowledge and insight that you need? I’ll give you three guesses.

None of that is to say you have to find your way back to yourself alone; it’s why people like me hold space, guide, and help you to interpret the wisdom of your Soul, because in a world that is constantly pulling us in a million different directions it can be flipping difficult to hear your own voice.

A woman in silhouette reads a book by the light of a small lamp behind her. Photo by abednego s g on Unsplash

But it’s bloody important.

So make the effort and the investment to dive in and learn about yourself in just the same way you would if you’d signed up for a course, or committed to a job.

That’s not to say you must work on you full time (unless you want to); but it is to say that if you’re ready to do this work and make those changes, then it is OK to make a commitment in whatever way feels right and possible for you.

For me, self discovery is something I’ve always been interested in. That comes with some great benefits: my first Counselling Supervisor once told me that she loved working with me because I’d do a lot of the work for myself before I stepped into the room with her…

And now I recognise that encouraging deep self knowledge in others is a huge part of my Soul’s work here, of course it makes sense that I got a head start on doing that for myself.

But it can also be tough – over the years wanting to learn more about myself has often means a lot of overthinking, and beating myself up for the things I would stew over for hours and hours on end.

Over the years I’ve become much better at harnessing that self knowledge for the better; using it to step away from that overthinking and instead study myself as part of the bigger picture of life, my family, or even the wider Universe.

I guess that started when I trained as a counsellor and had to learn about the various theories of Counselling and Psychology not just for my clients, but also for myself (rule number one of counselling: Get familiar with your own shit so that you can leave it at the door and concentrate on your client).

But I’m not suggesting you need to undertake a multi-year qualification to kick off that self-knowledge at all. No, you just need to turn inwards and follow your own wisdom as to where you should start and go next.

Sometimes that will mean reading, or learning, or paying money to work with particular guides and teachers. But none of those things are a must…

Often you can gain just as much self knowledge by meditating, walking quietly outdoors, sitting down with a journal and a pen or reflecting on why the things that shake, anger or upset you have such a big impact on you.

It’s a journey you can walk alone if you want to – although from experience I’d strongly advise you to surround yourself with the people who can help and support you through this journey and experience; and even to seek out those teachers and guides that feel right if and when it feels like the next big thing for you.

If it feels like the right next step for you then head here to find out how you can work with me to delve further into your own self …

Or, if you want to know more then put down your phone or log off the future, get quiet and listen to what the wisest teacher in your life has to say. (That’s you by the way, just in case that wasn’t obvious yet!).

#wisdom #counselling #soulwork #soulsupport #selflove #healing