Do me a favour, close your eyes and tell me what your life looks like when you have it all?
I’m no mind reader but I’m guessing it will involve you having the perfect happy ever after relationship, a beautiful healthy family, a picture-perfect house, a successful career, loads of money and tones of awesome holidays as a starter, right?
And let me tell you right now that I am not here to put down any of those things, or tell you that you shouldn’t have them. But that’s a post for another day.
No, today’s post is all about the here and now; what happens until those things arrive in your life?
For a long time I thought that I couldn’t be happy. Because after all, until all of those different pieces fell into place my life would always feel like it was lacking.
Of course the problem with that was that I wasn’t enjoying my life in the here and now. And along the way I was so busy seeing the future as some far off dream that I wasn’t actually doing anything to make it a reality.
But recently I had one of those amazing life affirming weekends…
I started my Saturday at a counsellors’ development group I’m a member of. It was our last session together so we carried out a few wonderful excercises focusing on the impact we’d had on one another’s lives during our time together, and then in a group discussion I spoke my truth and had someone call me a “beautiful light warrior” (I mean, tears much?!).
Weirdly, despite this being a route I’ve driven hundreds of times before I got lost on the way home, and stumbled across a shop where I found my favourite ever perfume which I had complained only days before about being discontinued, bringing back so many fantastic memories and putting the biggest smile on my face.
Then it was home, for a long conversation with one of my best friends which left me buzzing with inspiration for work, life and the world in general; before heading out to one of my favourite places for a teatime walk up and down beautiful hills with Kali.
That evening I found out that some wonderful baby news I’d known for a while (and had actually kept secret!) was now public knowledge and could be shouted from the rooftops! And then curled up on the sofa to watch one of the most life affirming films I’ve seen in years.
The next day I took myself through my usual morning ritual; meditation, affirmations, visualisation, exercise and a body check in, and then went off to meet one of my favourite ladies for a good catch up while watching her son play football. Then it was a family lunch out during which I ate amazing cake and laughed so much I cried, and then home to do my last few Sunday night jobs and then take a few hours to just rest and have some peace time.
It was a weekend filled with lushness, love, laughter, affirmation and more than a sprinkling of magic.
Did it involve winning the lottery? A day out with my perfect man? An award win or a trip to the Maldives? Nope.
Here’s the thing… while each of those are amazing things that we absolutely do deserve and should aim for, when it comes to having the most wonderful life they really are just checks in boxes.
What really builds the life of your dreams is filling it with all of the feelings that illuminate our days; love, laughter, inspiration, wonder, peace, smiles and a zillion other things. Because life isn’t a sum of the checked boxes, it’s the journey that we take along the way.
And it’s no lie to say that filling your life with those feelings creates fertile ground for the other things to arrive… it’s true that the Universe rewards joy, that fulfilled women are sexy, that people who love life have a tendency to get ahead in all areas, and that maintaining a positive attitude leaves you feeling so feeling so much better, even when things are tough.
Because do these things mean every day will be perfect? Gods no. But then nor will it be when you check those boxes off your list; there’ll still be arguments, tough days and challenges to face.
But when you’re building a life that looks the way you want it to, well then even those days become easier to deal with.
Everything I’ve ever read about manifestation tells you to act “as if” you already have what you’re trying to create. And for a long time I wondered what that meant and how in the hell you do it.
After all should a singleton accept a +1 for a wedding and introduce an invisible partner all day? Should we go and view million pound mansions when we only have £20 to last us until payday?
But now I get it. Living “as if” is about creating the life that you dream of even without those extra things. It’s about living in such a way that means the things you dream of are just cherries on the top rather than the “must haves” you can’t live without.
So yes, accept the +1 and take a friend, or go alone but know that you’re beautiful and sparkling and more than able to light up the room on your own. And hey, view the mansion if you want to, but along the way concentrate on turning your house into the home that you dream of by the way it feels, and the way you feel in it.
Clearing out blockages and creating the life and relationships of your dreams if a huge part of the work that I do, and there’s a reason for that. Because it works. But we have to be creating for the right reasons, safe in the knowledge even before we have everything, we can and will have it all.