Letting people in when you need them

Over the last couple of months I’ve been through a fair bit of change in life. In retrospect it’s all been for the better – even the stuff that came completely out of the blue – but that doesn’t mean that it wasn’t still tough in places.

Because yup, even for someone who supports and guides other people through their own journeys of transformation, change can still be unsettling. In fact I think that’s part of the reason I like to be involved in those journeys, because I know how tough and lonely they can be and I want to help with that as best I can.

But what about the changes that come while you’re not working with someone professionally? Well that’s when you need your gang!

In all of my programmes I ask clients to take some time out to focus on their existing support network; the people who are there for them, what they offer support on, when and where.

That almost always leads to a bit of a lightbulb moment about not only how much support they have but also how loved they actually are. And I get that.

I get it because it’s a revelation that I’ve had for myself recently too… and it’s one that has made the transformation I’ve been going through SO much easier to deal with.

A little while ago a friend of mine told me: “Don’t ever feel guilty about asking any of your friends for help. If they can possibly be there for you they will.”

I know, I know, it sounds totally and utterly obvious. After all how often have you been there for when someone you care for needed you?! And yet, when the shoe is on the other foot, how many times are you reluctant to ask for the help you need.

Whether it be a change, a struggle or a big fat broken heart, there’s never any shame in asking for support from the people you love. Because the fact is that the vast majority of those people love you too, and will do anything they can to help you through and to make things easier for you.

In fact it’s so often during the darkest times that we find out who our best friends really are; the people I have the most time for now are the ones who were there for me during the toughest period of my life a few years back. And similarly the people who tend to have the most time for me are the ones that I’ve helped and supported through particularly tough periods along the way.

The people who don’t give you support when you need it – not because they can’t for some reason, but because they just don’t see it, or you as a priority – well they tell you a lot too, and although that can be tough to deal with at the time, it certainly gives you some food for thought as you move forward… but those people tend to be few and far between when it comes to those closest to you.

Because the ones who really deserve a place in your life, well they will always be there for you in whatever way they’re able to, whether that’s a quick text every now and again, or a daily visit reminding you to take care of yourself.

So whatever challenges you have going on right now, or ever, be sure to not only let the people around you in, but to invite them... you’ll be amazed how many of them RSVP.

#love #fear #pain #support