Over the last few weeks I’ve been sharing with you some thoughts on each “part” of the work that I do. And since we’ve talked about the importance of making peace with your past, I figured it was time to talk about why and how I reckon we’re all responsible for creating our own happy ever afters.
So often I hear people – especially women – say that they “need” someone else in order to be happy and to do all the things they long for.
OK first up, no. It is absolutely amazing to find someone that you want to be with, and so lush to share the rest of your life with someone, but that’s not the thing that will make you happy and make all of your dreams come true.
Don’t get me wrong, if falling in love and spending your life with the perfect person for you is one of your dreams then that’s important. And as an old romantic who counts Nora Roberts as one of her top three authors and devotes a good chunk of her working life to helping women find the right man for them, I am all for you finding that perfect relationship.
But the truth is that even the most wonderful person in the world can’t make you truly happy if you haven’t reached that place of peace and fulfilment within yourself.
Sounds great right? But how do we do that? It’s not always easy, and it often means deep healing and taking a stand.
People talk about creating your future, manifestation, visualisation, as though it’s some amazing and immediate magic… and when the things we’ve asked for come into being it often feels that way. But the fact is that there’s often serious work behind it.
That work starts with deciding what you want and taking action to get it, with or without another person. I’ve lost track of the number of times I’ve heard clients, friends and even myself say “When I find the right person I will…” Will what? Because really, how many things are there that you can’t take action on and do without another person?
Dream holiday? There are stacks of singles trips, or just book some flights and head off on your own! Perfect Saturday night date? Take a friend… and if not then head wherever it is on your own! Gods, nowadays we don’t even need a partner to bring a child into the world if that’s what you’re looking for. And yes, all of these things are scary in varying ways, but if they’re what we really want then we need to learn to make our own dreams come true.
My job is to empower you to remember that you can do just that, to support you on the journey towards your happy ever after, and to share some techniques with you to help create the future you really dream of.
It’s something I’ve been a big fan of in my own life for years now – check out my Instagram and you’ll notice the word “manifest” pops up a lot, through Aurora Shelley and I run all manner of workshops and courses dedicated to creating the life that you want and deserve, and recently I even turned my hallway into a little centre of manifestation for my house.
But I can't stand here and tell you that asking the Universe to grant all of your wishes for the perfect future and then sitting back and putting your feet up will work every time, because I know first hand that the Universe expects some work from you to make that happen too.
I learned that first of all through personal experience; for all of my successes in manifesting the things I wanted, I’d often find that some of the bigger things just wouldn’t come to being as I’d asked. When I delved into that and looked back over it retrospectively I noticed that every one of those things either wasn’t right for me, or wasn’t something I was ready for; either because I hadn’t done the necessary healing or because I hadn’t stopped to appreciate just how close I actually was to all the things I wished for.
But when that work’s been done – when you’ve taken the time to understand what it is that you really want and why, to do the healing you need to get there, and to fall in love with yourself and your life in the present; well that’s when the magic really starts to happen and you start to write the story that you wish for.