The most important Valentine of all

Happy Valentine’s Day!

Let me start this post by saying that you are amazing. And that just in case no one else has told you already today I, for one, love you.

If you’re not coupled up right now then of course you’ll know that today is a commercialised circus promoted by the greetings card and floristry industries to make loved up people feel they must spend money and single people feel, well, crappy.

But not anymore.

Nope. For this Valentine’s Day I’m encouraging you to take back the holiday and pay some attention to that special someone who deserves your love more than anyone, not just today but every day.

Who am I talking about? The one person who will never leave you, the one who can change your life in a flash and the only one whose opinion ever really matters…

I’m talking about you.

Not my image... but I couldn't have put it better myself! (image from:,bs.1,d.ZGg&psig=AFQjCNE-tQoDdynHtX_mKNyMjPw8nJfyCQ&ust=1487182840600712)

You are the only person who will be with you for every single second of your life, and the one with sole responsibility for your own happiness. So isn’t a relationship that special worth working on?

Self love isn’t something I’ve always found easy; I spent so much of my life looking in the mirror and detesting what I saw, making decisions based solely on what other people wanted or said while casting aside how they would make me feel, and accepting the myth that unless I had an “other half” willing to buy me flowers and shower me with adoration that meant I was nothing.

Gods, just typing those words makes me well up and feel more than a little queasy.

The truth is that for a long time I didn’t think I was worthy of loving, and so I didn’t. And the more my behaviour perpetuated that myth, the more difficult other people found it to love me too.

One day I finally realised that the idea of being kinder to yourself was a cliché for a reason.

And with that came the acceptance that I needed to repair that relationship in my own life and fall in love with myself again.

It wasn’t an easy process, and goodness knows I’ve had more than a few hiccups along the way, but I’m proud to say that the relationship I have with myself is now the healthiest and most functional its ever been…

If you’re reading this thinking “shut up and tell me where the hell I start” then don’t worry, I hear you!

As a proud self love mentor with over fifteen years studying the subject under my belt, this is something I could witter on about all. day. long.

(And will, my business Aurora is running a full day workshop on the subject next month, click here to find out more!).

But as with all of the most successful journeys, rebuilding your relationship with yourself starts with one little step.

In this case, that step is taking the decision to be kind.

Pay yourself some compliments – stand in front of a mirror, look yourself in the eye and remind yourself how proud you are of something in particular, how good you’re looking, or how downright bloody awesome you are.

Treat yourself; whether you buy yourself a bouquet of roses (or some really really nice shoes), skip your fast shower in favour of a long, candlelit bath, or just make something extra special for dinner this evening, give yourself something you want and something that makes you smile.

And go easy on yourself. So maybe you haven’t ticked everything off your to do list today; will anyone die? Will the world fall down? Unless the answer to one of those is “yes” then let yourself off for today and just pick it back up again tomorrow.

We’re often so damned keen to show and tell other people how much we love them; and rightly so – the people we love can brighter our days and make our world a brighter place.

But the centre of that world? That’s you.

So remember that this Valentine’s Day and make sure that you’re showing the single most important person in your life all the love in the world.

#selflove #love #healing #relationships