Recent Thoughts


Have you ever thought about the sheer scale of your soul?

I know, that’s a pretty big question, but it’s something I’ve thought about a LOT recently.

The boxes of human life

Within this human life of ours we spend a lot of time living inside boxes don’t we?

There are the boxes society puts us in because of where we come from, what we look like, who we love and what we do.

There are those created for us by the people we love because of the attributes we do or don’t carry and because of our place in the family or group we’re a part of.

Not to mention the boxes those people who matter to us have put themselves into over time, that we’ve also settled into because we’ve never really known of another way.

Aaaaand there are the boxes we’ve made homes for ourselves base don the things that have happened to us in the past and those we’ve come to believe about ourselves.

But for all of their differences, those boxes have two things in common – their limiting natures and the fact that they just aren’t real. Yup, I said it. None of these boxes of ours are real.

The truth about our limitations

After all, ask those people who’ve transcended their tough economic starts to life and gone on to become millionaires; or those who’ve built happy and beautifully functional families despite growing up in difficult or even abusive homes.

I’m not here to deny that the privileges of particular lifestyles or circumstances make it easier to sail through life more happily and or successfully – we all know that’s the case no matter how much we’d love to believe otherwise.

But we’ve all heard the stories of people who’ve broken out of those boxes life originally consigned them, so we know that it possible to change that destiny we’re told is ours.

In fact, in this human world of ours the only real limitations we’re up against are time and space – the fact that there are only 24 hours in every day and that, no matter how hard I try, I can’t quite click my fingers and teleport across the Atlantic just yet.

But here’s the thing that we forget about those limitations… it’s only ever our physical selves that can be limited by those or any other factors. The souls within us? Well since they’re not physical, they laugh in the face of even those most basic physical limitations.

The limitlessness of our soul

I had a dream recently that absolutely wowed me with its detail; when I woke up the next morning I remembered the pattern of the carpet in the room I’d been in, the food I’d ordered from the bar I’d gone to for party catering (and believe me, there was a LOT of food!), and the detail of the watch worn by a man I’d been talking to.

A little while later I was doing one of Meggan Watterson’s Soul Voice meditations when I paused to look around the gorgeous place of worship I always find myself in when I move my awareness into my heart and suddenly marvelled at just how stunningly beautiful the place was.

That’s no surprise really is it? After all, we know our imaginations are very rarely limited by anything; especially not the boring hum drum of daily life… It’s why we can so easily visualise the perfect futures that we dream of, even when those things and experiences feel a million miles away from us in daily life.

But what if we remembered that those imaginations of ours are most aligned with our souls – the very truest part of our beings?

So what?

I know, I know. So what? Remembering that my soul is amazing and completely limitless isn’t going to suddenly enable me to pop over to my friend’s house in Brooklyn, NY for a quick cup of tea before I hit the hay here in North East England, and nor will it mean I can take on twenty client sessions in a day and still have time for three square meals and enough sleep to feel properly rested.

Buuuuuut it can make it a little easier to break through those other limitations that might otherwise hold me back.

Remembering that limitlessness makes it easier to remember that nothing is quite as scary as it seems and that maybe, just maybe, I can do anything I put my mind to, no matter what the voice of doubt might say!

Remembering the detail and depth of what I can visualise when I shush my conscious brain and tune into my true creative power helps bring that true creative spirit closer and closer to the forefront of my mind and my life.

And pausing to put myself back in that cathedral of my heart reminds me of the amazingness I’m worthy of even on the days my old “not enoughness” threatens to creep back in and make itself heard.

That’s part of the reason I’m so big on bringing soul into the therapy room; not because I want to try and bypass the physical, emotional or mental human sides of us (more on that in a sec), but because I want to ground it, enlighten it and remind the wonderful people I work with of the power and wonder that can be found in their wholeness.

Bringing together the human and the spiritual

Because that’s the point of this – the wholeness.

Dancing, eating amazing food, having really good sex, crying at something that touches our hearts, literally sharing the work that’s important to us with other people – there are so so many things we literally couldn’t do if it weren’t for our human selves.

That’s why I’m so big on the need to feel our emotions, to reconnect with our bodies and to learn to live with rather than spend so much time getting out of our minds.

But equally, those more human parts of ourselves will always be limited – will always feel somehow disconnected – unless we remember that they’re just as much a part of us as the timeless, limitless soul that exists alongside them.

And when we remember that, and learn to reunite and work with all of those parts of ourselves? In my experience that’s when profound changes start to take place.

#soulwork #soulsupport #therapy

Yesterday was my dad’s birthday, and it struck me that for all I’ve spoken plenty about my mum on this blog before, he’s someone I really haven’t talked about too much here.

That’s a bit of a surprise actually, because the two of us are pretty damned close; I’m a lot like my dad and I often think about the fact that he’s the person who first introduced me to topics like past lives and spiritualism… Not to mention the fact that when I first started my counselling training many years ago, he was on the desk next to me.

And my dad is possibly also the person I quote most regularly within my client sessions, thanks to the very random but effective pearls of wisdom he’s shared with me over the years.

So in honour of his birthday, I thought I’d share with you some of my favourite dad-isms that I often hear coming out of my own mouth when I speak with clients…

How do you eat an elephant?

Possibly my very favourite of my dad’s sayings it this one. Anytime I have ever ranted to him about how much I have to do, how big a job ahead of me, or generally not knowing where to start he says this:

“Ceryn, remember: How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time.”

Of course, as I say every time I use this one, no one is suggesting here that we actually eat an elephant… But it’s a hell of a reminder that no task is insurmountable once you break it down into smaller chunks.

Better to arrive late in this life than early in the next

There’s a running joke in my family about the idea of Rowntree time – that we are pretty much always late. I mean, as the vast majority of my clients will tell you that’s not the case but, you know, it’s also something that we take in our stride.

After all, if it comes to a choice between arriving ten minutes late or driving so fast that you end up in an accident, if taking the safe route to walk somewhere means that you miss the very start of it, or if you haven’t eaten anything all day and have to decide between passing out or starting something a couple of minutes after you’d planned? We all know the right answer here, right?

Like my dad says – when the choice is either to arrive a little late in this life, or to put yourself in the kind of position that might risk you arriving earlier into the next one? Well that’s a quote that’s given me more than a little perspective on plenty of busy or stressful days in the past…

Bullshit baffles brains

This one is a bit of a doubler, because it often gets substituted for the slightly less snappy “you slide further on bullshit than you do on gravel.”

The moral of both of those stories? That no matter how much of an imposter you might feel, or how under-qualified you think you are compared to everyone else in the room; the key is always to believe in yourself.

Partly because the likelihood is that you’re actually way more qualified than you actually realise. But equally, no one else can ever tell what’s actually going on in your head.

So as long as you’re talking the talk and appearing outwardly confident? Well then you can absolutely be the most influential person in the room!

#wisdom #connection #inspiration

I talk a lot about ritual… sometimes I even bring some suggestions for it into my sessions with clients (one of the many reasons I’m not your traditional therapist!). But I know that for some people even the word itself can seem a little scary.

Old horror movies have told us that ritual has to involve some sort of blood and sacrifice, and even the less dramatic ideas have us thinking we have to create something complicated, fancy, deep and powerful if we want to make a ritual out of something we’re trying to do.

Now I’m not against that (well, except for the sacrifice bit – the only thing I’ve ever sacrificed in my rituals is time and energy…) – I love the whole experience of casting a full circle, calling in the deities and guides that feel right for me, and following specific actions or correspondences to support whatever it is that I’m trying to create or change.

But my rituals aren’t always that complicated or fancy, and they definitely don’t have to be!

What do we mean by ritual?

The Oxford English Dictionary has to definitions for the word ritual:

“A series of actions that are always performed in the same way, especially as part of a religious ceremony”, or “something that is done regularly and always in the same way.”

Do you see anything in there about what those actions involve, or about what it is that we have to do? Noooope. Because although books and teachers and institutions will give you their very defined ideas of what you should be doing regularly to make something ritualistic for them, in reality a ritual is and should always be something that you define for yourself.

Maybe that is the steps that you take to make something sacred and give it meaning to you; to create a space to connect to something greater than your day-to-day self or to change the energy of a situation in order to bring about something you want.

Or maybe it’s simply the thing you do every morning to put yourself in the right headspace for the day ahead; or the actions you take to bookmark a certain space or time as your own so that no one or nothing else can distract from that.

A ritual can be as complex as creating an altar, casting a circle and undertaking a spell or as simple as playing a song… Neither are better or worse or more or less effective when it comes to setting intentions and bringing about change.

Where does ritual factor into daily life?

As I mentioned before, there are times when the subject of ritual comes up during sessions with clients – that’s part of what makes my therapy Soul-led rather than Person-centered or focused. And there are many different ways that happens…

Where clients struggle to stay grounded into themselves within the pressures of their daily lives, we might talk about creating a ritual for themselves that helps them to do that – a smell that brings them back to themselves, a space they can go and breathe, or a song that makes them feel totally and utterly them.

Where clients are having problems letting go of a relationship or situation that’s now in the past we’ll often talk about them putting all of their thoughts or feelings about that down on paper and then burning the letter or ripping it into tiny pieces and throwing it into the sea.

During the times motivation is a struggle we might look at what that person needs to help them start firing on all cylinders and power ahead with whatever they want to be doing, then set about creating a ritual that will put them in that headspace every time.

And when I talk with someone who wishes they had someone wise and all-knowing who could tell them what to do we often talk through ways that they can shut out the external noise and focus their minds on what that deeper voice within them has to share.

It’s about paying attention to what feels right to you, and about employing those tactics whenever you need them to change up the energy in a certain situation – especially that situation is your own mindset no matter how much other people might roll their eyes, get confused or fail to understand.

Personally I’m a firm believer in going with the flow as much as we can too, so I always recommend tapping into that ritual mindset only for specific time periods or reasons. After all, ritualising everything can get a bit complicated and anxiety-inducing… (As I found the day I once decided to spend a whole day in circle and forgot that I’d need to block time or lunch amongst all of those witchy plans )

But if you’re a football player who pulls on their left sock first and then touches the grass as soon as they walk outside, the CEO who wears the same outfit or eats the same breakfast every day, or the person who leaps out of bed and dances to their favourite tune each morning because those things make you feel good and right and ready to take on the world?

Well then that’s more than enough of an awesome ritual for me!

#spirituality #ritual #soulwork

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